Basketball Blunders
by L1701E
Summary: Chapter 9 up! Complete The West Coast Misfits save a youth center! Up next: The Big Game! RR PLEASE! Suggestions needed badly!
1. Court Fun!

**Basketball Blunders!**

**Author's Note: Hey folks! L1701E here! Finally, after a long absence (lack of ideas), I finally got an idea for a Misfit fic. It stars a couple members of the West Coast Misfit team, and they take their battle to the court! You'll see what I mean. Enjoy the new story!**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Sunbow, me, Marvel, and others. Here's your quote: "I _hate_ that hedgehog!" - Dr. Robotnik, Sonic the Hedgehog.**

Chapter 1: Court Fun!

**A local youth center, Malibu, California**

_SWISH!_

"Oh yeah!"

_SWISH!_

"Whoooo!"

_SWISH!_

"Two more points, baby!"

"Hey, jabroni!" A Boston-accented voice snapped. "No fair! No speed, man!" The source was a young boy, around thirteen, dressed in a green Boston Celtics jersey bearing Larry Bird's number on it, a white t-shirt underneath it, black shorts, and sneakers. He was Kyle Wildfire, the loud proud electrokinetic codenamed Thunderbolt.

"Yeah, Terrell." Another older voice added. "Don't forget, not _all_ of us have powers, you know." The source was a blond man with messy hair and matching facial hair. He was dressed in a sleeveless blue t-shirt with red shorts and white sneakers. He was Rock 'n' Roll, one of the members of GI Joe, an elite, and extremely unorthodox, counter-terrorist unit.

"Who said I was using my powers?" An African-American teenager, around 16, smirked. His dark hair was in cornrows, covered by a white furry headband. He was dressed in an LA Lakers jersey bearing Magic Johnson's number, matching shorts, and black sneakers. He was Terrell Mason, a speedster and aerokinetic codenamed Velocity. "I'm just too good for you! I don't _need_ my powers to beat you guys on the court."

"Oh, shut up!" Kyle groaned.

"Yeah, Terrell. You brag too much." A feminine voice snickered. The teenage girl sat on the stands watching the boys play. The pretty girl was dressed in a black shirt with "Babe" on it in silver gothic letters, blue jeans, and silver boots. Her long blonde hair was in an unusual hairstyle: Farrah hair. She was Alison Blaire, a teenage singer who was known as the Dazzler for her mutant ability to absorb sound waves and convert them into light for various effects. Sitting on her lap was a macaque monkey wearing an orange vest with various pockets and a green headband. She was petting the monkey. "Doesn't he, Blast Radius?" She asked the monkey with a smile.

"Ooh ooh ah ah ah ah!" The macaque screeched happily, making some hand gestures in the process.

"Yeah, BR has a point, Velocity." A red-headed man snickered. His red hair was in the beginnings of a mullet, and he was dressed in a sleeveless red t-shirt that said "KABOOM" in yellow letters, black sweatpants, and white sneakers. He also had a towel over his shoulders, and he was drinking from a water bottle. The man was Firestorm, a rather strange explosives expert who liked big explosions, fast cars, and raging infernos. Blast Radius, or BR, was his pet monkey, who enjoyed explosions as much as he did, and pranks.

"I can't believe you guys are agreeing with a monkey." Velocity groaned.

"Even if the monkey's significantly smarter than you, Dr. V?" The smart-mouthed Thunderbolt teased with a smirk.

"You know Thunderbolt, if you weren't wearing a Larry Bird jersey right now, I'd smack you in the mouth." Velocity grunted to Kyle in a deadpan manner.

"Yeah, no one could take down 'The Hick from Cowlick'." Kyle snickered, dribbling the ball.

"Yeah, even though he wasn't that fast or that strong." Terrell reminded, snatching the ball and dribbling it himself.

"It was enough to give Magic and your other Laker boys a run for the money." Kyle snatched it back, pointing at Terrell's jersey.

"You know, to be honest, I don't really know what you two are talking about." Ali admitted. Firestorm, Kyle, Terrell, BR, and Rock 'n' Roll looked at her like she was from outer space. The blonde lightengale blinked. "What?"

"You are kidding me." Kyle gaped. "_PLEASE_ tell the Thunderbolt you're joking!"

"What?" Ali shrugged her shoulders.

"You never heard of the rivalry between the Lakers and the Celtics?" Terrell groaned.

"I'm not a basketball fan." Ali explained. "Besides, I was born in New York City, and then moved to LA."

"Why did your family move to LA?" Firestorm wondered.

"My dad's a lawyer." Ali grinned. "His firm got some great business here, what with celebrities always getting into trouble and all."

"Ask a stupid question." Firestorm rolled his eyes.

"Anyway, I don't really know what you guys are talking about." Ali brought the conversation back on track.

"Back in the 80s, the NBA was revitalized by a rivalry between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Boston Celtics." Terrell explained.

"Yeah." Kyle nodded. "The Celtics and the Lakers were such opposites. The Celtics were from the east coast."

"And the Lakers were West Coast, baby!" Terrell added.

"For most of the 80s, the Lakers and the Celtics duked it out for the NBA title. My Uncle George is the _ultimate_ Celtics fan, and he said that decade was a great decade to be a Celt supporter." Kyle grinned.

"The whole Celtics-Lakers rivalry boiled down to two men: Larry Bird and Irving "Magic" Johnson." Terrell smirked.

"I know those guys." Ali nodded. "A friend of mine bought an old basketball video game at a fair starring them."

"Yeah, there was a big thing in the media about 'Bird vs. Magic'." Kyle remembered.

"Yeah, it touched every aspect of pop culture." Rock 'n' Roll remembered with a grin. "Even restaurant commercials."

"Yup." Firestorm remembered with a smile.

"Remembering some of basketball's greats, I see." A voice chuckled. The kids and the two Joes looked up to see a man walk up to them, dressed in blue shorts, a gray jersey, and a pair of white-and-blue sneakers. His short hair was grey, indicating that he had been around for quite a while.

"Hey, Don." Firestorm grinned, getting up and shaking the man's hand.

"Hi, Don." The kids greeted.

"You remember Don, right BR? The nice man who owns this place?" Ali cooed at BR. The monkey nodded.

"How's it going, Don?" Rock 'n' Roll asked the man.

"Yeah, it's going alright." The man sighed.

"Is something wrong?" Ali wondered. Don looked at the other end of the court, where he saw several ten-year-olds playing basketball.

"Well, I am in a bit of a pickle." Don admitted. "I don't want to inconvenience you guys or anything, considering you West Coast kids often are fighting terrorists and supervillains."

"Well, the Thunderbolt isn't beating up a Cobra Viper right now, so what's up?"

Well, well, well! Looks like the West Coast Misfits have a new adventure! What insanity will happen next? Who is Don? What's his problem? Can the West Coast Misfits solve it? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	2. Just Business!

**Basketball Blunders**

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Oh yeah, the 80s Lakers/Celetics rivalry was considered one of the greatest sports rivalries ever, not to mention it saved the NBA. Well…yeah…of **course** they're gonna play basketball. The story's called "Basketball Blunders", isn't it? Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there, Rogue Fan! Nice to hear from you! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I read your one-shot "And Justice and Insanity for All", and I loved it! Man, something tells me the Justice League is going to have a huge hate-on for the Misfits. Yeah, the Lakers/Celtics rivalry was something classic. Yeah, Don needs their help for a good cause. There will be bad guys, but they won't be Cobra. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Dante: Hey there, Dante! Nice to hear from you! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Oh yeah, this will be insane, considering we're talking basketball here. __Chicago__, huh?__ Then read my story "Rockin' in the Southside". It's set in __Chicago__. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "The Z Project"!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Uh huh, Sonic rules. I have a couple of his video games. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Gifts and Curses"._

**Disclaimer: "Shaken, not stirred." - James Bond**

Chapter 2: Just Business!

**A local youth center in Malibu**

"What do you mean, Don?" Rock 'n' Roll asked the owner of the youth center. Don sighed.

"Well…I'm afraid I may have to close down the youth center." He sighed.

"Why?" Dazzler wondered.

"Yeah." Terrell added. "This place and Nick's Arcade are the West Coast Misfits' favorite hangouts."

"Yeah. When the Joes tell us we've been playing video games too much, we come here." Kyle quipped.

"Well, I really don't want to bother you kids, considering that you guys are often fighting terrorists and the like…" Don started.

"It's alright, Don." Ali reassured. BR nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, the Thunderbolt ain't beating any Cobras right now, as he said." Kyle shrugged. "Besides, in the Thunderbolt's Galactic Justice Force comics, Captain Nebula and the gang always helped out the little guys."

"Well, my youth center has become a target." Don explained.

"How awful." Ali gasped.

"A bunch of punks come around on occasion and try to boss me and the kids that come here around." Don explained.

"So, why not just call the cops?" Firestorm wondered.

"Well, a developer came to town recently and wanted to make this place into a mall." Don shook his head.

"I'm all for a new mall and all, but why here?" Ali blinked.

"He said it was a prime location." Don shrugged. "I turned down his offer. Not long afterwards, these punks started showing up."

"And you think they may be connected?" Firestorm blinked.

"They've got to." Don shrugged. "It's too much of a coincidence."

"Who exactly are these guys?" Terrell inquired.

"A couple hoods from a local gang." Don responded. "Three of them in particular come here are like you kids. Mutants."

"A mutant gang." Kyle blinked. "There's a new one."

"Not that new." Rock 'n' Roll shook his head. "Remember when Red Dragon and Shadowcat took on that gang in Chicago?" **(1)**

"Yeah, I remember that!" Firestorm remembered. "What were they called? The Metals?"

"Metallix." Ali corrected. "They were called Metallix."

"Yeah, Jake told me about them." Kyle remembered. "They were _craaaaa-zy_ Especially that Spectra chick and that Diablo clown. Spectra had some serious issues. Diablo was nothing but a rip-off of Red Dragon who couldn't freakin' fly." The young electrokinetic groused.

"Yeah." Firestorm nodded. "I also heard they were a metal band."

"Yeah, but they ain't that good." Kyle grunted.

"Can be get back on subject, please?" Rock 'n' Roll groaned.

"What do you need us to do, Don?" Ali wondered.

"Well, I know there's a connection between the developer and the gang, but I can't prove it." Don sighed. "The cops won't do anything because there's not enough evidence."

"We ain't the cops. We can do it." Kyle smirked. A door slamming was heard. The gang and Don looked up to see a man walk into a room with a cocky smile on his face. He looked like a stereotypical Texas businessman, dressed all in white.

"Oh look, it's our old drinking buddy Tex." Kyle snickered. "Howdy pardner…" The Bostonian started mocking in a Texan accent. "How're things down at the OK Corral. Ah heard that things are finer than a bikini model in Fort Lauderdale." Ali and Terrell snickered at that. So did the two Malibu Joes.

"Oh look, it's Boss Hogg." Rock 'n' Roll snickered. Firestorm struggled not to laugh.

"Well, well, well." The man said with a grin. He had no sign of a Texan accent. "I can't believe this place is still standing. Especially after all the…problems I heard about plaguing this place."

"Everyone, say hello to Wally "The Whip" Farriss." Don glared at the man.

"The Whip?" Ali blinked. "That's a strange…" She noticed the man had a bullwhip attached to his hip. "Oh…"

"The name comes from the fact that I'm skilled with a bullwhip, ma'am." Farriss explained with a tip of the hat. "I recognize you, kid." He pointed at Ali. "Aren't you that little singer that is pretty popular around here? The Dazzler?"

"Yeah, why?" Ali nodded.

"I heard you were one of those…mutant things."

"I am a mutant. So?" Ali sneered. "I'm also a member of the West Coast Misfits."

"You don't sound like a Texan. The Thunderbolt's fought Texans." Kyle grimaced at the man. Farriss chuckled.

"That's 'cause I'm from Oklahoma."

"That's a new one." Kyle snickered.

"Anyway, Don. I was hoping you would reconsider my offer. As you know, I'm paying you several times what this land is worth." Fariss said to the gray-haired owner of the youth center.

"You asked me three times, and I refused three times." Don scowled. "What makes you think that I'll say yes a fourth time?"

"Because I know about your little problem with those local hoods who keep assaulting this place." Farriss smirked.

"Look Whip, I know you got something to do with those punks that keep bothering me." Don grunted.

"He told us about them." Firestorm added. "It's too coincidental."

"Oh, please." Farriss snorted, crossing his arms. "Look at me. I'm a well-respected businessman. I live in a penthouse."

"There's a joke I know about that, but there are kids here." Terrell whispered to Rock 'n' Roll. Farriss continued, either unaware of Terrell's statement or choosing to ignore it.

"I ride in a limousine. I own things that you couldn't afford in your dreams. Why would someone as high up on the ladder as me associate himself with a bunch of loudmouth punk kids?"

"Intimidation, maybe?" Kyle offered. Everyone looked at him. "What? The Thunderbolt's seen Scarface!"

"This place allows kids to go somewhere where they can be safe and stay out of trouble." Rock 'n' Roll said to Farriss. "Why do you want to derive this town of that?"

"You just answered your own question, Blondie." Farriss smirked. "Kids come to this location all the time. Perfect new customers at my new mall."

"I don't like this." Ali shook her head. "I like mall-hopping as much as any girl, but not at the expense of a place like this."

"It's called progress, little girl." Farriss chuckled. "See you around." The businessman walked off, chuckling.

"Man, that guy needs a girlfriend." Firestorm shook his head sadly.

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes have just met the bad guy! What insanity will happen next? Can our heroes save the day and the youth center? Who are the hoods? Will any basketball be played? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!

**(1) - See "Rockin' in the Southside"**


	3. Makin' Deals!

**Basketball Blunders!**

_To Haretrigger: Hey there, Hare! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, villains with deep pockets are a lot of fun to hate and to write. I think you may like who I chose to be the goons. Well, 'goons' is an unfair term for them. Yeah, they'll give the West Coast Misfits some trouble. I'll see if I can include more Scarface references. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there, Rogue Fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, Whip being called "Boss Hogg" is very funny. He was an inspiration for the Whip. Yes, I agree. It is a low blow. I think you'll like who this mutant gang are. They're a couple old characters I've wanted to use again. Oh yeah, Whip isn't normal. He's not a mutant either? Why do you think he's called the Whip? Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Dante Tigerwolf: Hey there, Dante! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yes, you will see some old OCs of mine I've been wanting to bring back. Thanks for Val, but I don't know too much about him. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "The Z Project"!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Here's more for you! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Slugs and Snails", "Gifts and Curses", and "Fourteenth Century Man"!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Oh yeah, I think I may be able to fit in some Whip torture! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ"!_

**Disclaimer: "Great Guardians!" - Green Lantern (Hal ****Jordan****), Superfriends**

Chapter 3: Makin' Deals!

**Downtown ****Malibu**

The white-clad mall magnate known as Wally "The Whip" Farriss sat in the back of his limousine. He was tapping impatiently on a briefcase that was sitting across his lap. The limo was parked in a parking garage.

"Come on. Where is he?" Whip muttered. "He's late." He looked down and his eyes widened. He saw what appeared to be a blob of silver liquid seeping into the limousine. The blob slowly seeped in, then seemed to crawl up to the seat. In the process, the blob changed shape and transformed into a teenage boy, who had his silver hair in a small ponytail and matching eyes. He was dressed in a black costume with silver highlights. The boy was in a seated position.

"Forgive me. I had some trouble with Rhinox and Ringer." Alex Wendel, aka Mercury, the bass player of Metallix, explained his lateness with a refined voice. "Sadly, they were the only two members of Metallix I could bring."

"…" Whip blinked. "You know, I've seen you do that liquid thing a couple times, and it still creeps me out." Mercury chuckled.

"Understandable." The liquid metal mutant chuckled. "Watching the usage of certain powers does creep some people out."

"Yeah." Whip nodded. "No offense…Mercury, is it?" Mercury nodded. "But your powers give me flashbacks of Terminator 2."

"I've heard every joke. It doesn't offend me. If I'm allowed to be honest?" Mercury answered. Whip nodded. "Ironically, I have never seen any of the Terminator movies."

"It's a shame that the rest of your little band couldn't come." Whip snickered.

"Yes." Mercury nodded. "They were…indisposed."

**Metallix**** HQ, Yesterday**

"I ain't gettin' on no plane!" Diablo, the devil-like lead singer of the mutant gang/metal band Metallix, unintentionally snapped at Mercury. The members of Metallix were sitting around the living room of their headquarters. Diablo was watching TV, and mercury had just walked in and told him of an opportunity. "Sorry. It's just that I hate flying."

"Die die die die die die!" Spectra, Metallix's rhythm guitarist, screamed. The rainbow-haired girl was stabbing a plush doll that had Kitty Pryde's face taped over the doll's face. "You stole my power! My power! MY POWER! YOU COPIED ME!" She started strangling the doll. "GIMME MY POWER BACK! MINE! MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MIIIINE!"

"And Spectra's too unstable." Diablo sighed. "Of course, we all know why Whiplash can't come." Meanwhile, in a hospital, Whiplash was laid back on a bed. The Hispanic mutant drummer was in a full body cast, with limbs hoisted into the air.

"I hate Trouble." Whiplash moaned, his voice muffled by his cast. Back at HQ, Diablo did some thing.

"Well, since it's not safe to take out Spectra, Whiplash is in a body cast, and I hate flying, bring Rhinox and Ringer with you. And make sure they don't get into any trouble." Diablo nodded. Mercury nodded.

"I'll keep those two in line."

"Good luck." Diablo snorted. "Rhinox can be a hothead at times, and Ringer's a letch."

**Malibu****, present day**

"…I…see." Whip blinked.

"Is there a reason why you called me here?" Mercury wondered.

"Yeah, I thought I'd let you know something." Whip said to the young mutant. "The last time I was there, I ran into a possible problem for you and your two boys."

"Oh really? What…kind…of problem?" Mercury raised a silver eyebrow.

"Well…" The Whip pulled an handkerchief out of his jacket and wiped his brow. "I was at that youth center I want to bring down, and I encountered three members of the West Coast Misfits."

"Really?" Mercury asked, his voice indicating his curiosity was piqued. "Which ones?"

"I'm…I'm not sure." Whip sighed. "I can describe them." Mercury leaned back and put his fingers together like a steeple, nodding. "Well, one of them is this girl with her hair in an old style. Farrah hair." Mercury could not help but grin. He had to admit, she was smart.

"Alison Blaire. The Dazzler." Mercury chuckled. "She has the power to absorb sound and convert it into light, which can then be used to create various effects or laser beams. I believe she also can use that light to create forcefields. I saw her sing at the Starlight Club last night. Quite a voice she possesses. She is talented. She's smarter than some people realize. She knows that people will notice and remember her if she styles her hair in an old fashion."

"And the second one was a black kid, hair in cornrows." Whip continued.

"Terrell Mason, codename Velocity." Mercury nodded. "Superhuman speed and the ability to psionically control air molecules."

"And the third was this loudmouthed little brat." Whip grumbled. Mercury snickered. It was obvious who that was.

"That must be Kyle Wildfire. The Thunderbolt." The silver-haired Mercury chuckled. "His mouth is legendary. It rivals Whiplash." Whip blinked.

"If you say so." The white-clad businessman nodded.

"We have faced off against a version of the Misfits, Mr. Farriss **(1)**." Mercury remembered. "Albeit they weren't official."

"I got a feeling that those kids are going to mess up my chance to get me a new mall in Malibu." Whip grumbled.

"The Misfits are fond of messing up things." Mercury nodded.

"I need you and your boys to deal with that little problem." Whip nodded. "The last thing I need is to deal with a bunch of superpowered teenagers! Uh, no offense."

"None taken." Mercury shrugged.

"And, uh…" The Whip grinned, opening his suitcase. He turned it around, revealing the case was full of money. "A little gift for you if you can deal with those kids."

Well, well, well! Looks like our bad guy's henchmen are revealed! What insanity will happen next? Will our heroes be able to take down Metallix? What craziness is Rhinox and Ringer up to? And will Spectra ever get help? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!

**(1) - See "Rockin' In The Southside!"**


	4. Meeting!

**Basketball Blunders**

_To Metal Dragoon: Hey there, Metal Dragoon! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Actually, I have no plans to have any of the Southside Misfits appear in this chapter. Sorry. Anyway, glad to have you back, man. I missed ya. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Take The Long Way Home" and "Swamp Fox"!_

_To Haretrigger: Hey there, Hare! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Oh yeah, it's Metallix. Luckily, the West Coast Misfits don't have to deal with the full fury of Metallix. Actually, Whiplash is in the hospital in __Chicago__ right now, recovering from a beating by Trouble. It's Mercury, Rhinox, and Ringer. Ringer can create rings of energy that can slice, blow up, or restrain. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! It's going to be Ringer, Rhinox, and Mercury against Thunderbolt, Velocity, and Dazzler. It's going to be awesome! I wanted to have Diablo pay tribute to Mr. T because I'm nuts. Maybe I will have the Southside Misfits pay a visit sometime. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there, RogueFan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, the West Coast Misfits would probably be aware of Metallix, considering the Joes have one of their own watching over the unofficial team. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "For Truth, Justice, and The Last Cup of BA's Coffee"!_

_To Firefly25: Hey there, Firefly! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Well, I thought it'd be a nice change instead of Cobra. And keep it down about the Whip, man! Although they probably figured it out anyway. My fans are insane, not stupid. Who knows, man. Not even me, and I'm the one **writing** this thing! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Reindeer Flotilla"!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Thanks for the compliment. I read the new chapters of "Mutants Make Good Cowboys", and I loved them! Great stuff!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Oh yeah, this is going to bite the Whip in the butt! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ"!_

**Disclaimer: "We're pretty good at connecting the dots." - Vincent D'Onofrio as Det. Goren, Law and Order: Criminal Intent**

Chapter 5: Meeting!

**A local donut shop**

In front of a local donut shop, Buzzer, Ripper, and Torch, the three original members of the biker gang known as the Dreadnoks, were enjoying lunch. They were scarfing down jelly doughnuts and grape soda like it was no tomorrow while sitting at an outdoor table. The shop was strangely empty, and it was wrecked.

"Aw, yeah!" Torch grinned. "Now _this_ is a lunch!"

"Yup." Ripper nodded, then let out a belch. Buzzer spat out his mouthful of grape soda, accidentally all over Ripper, and started a bizarre combination of laughter and choking. "ARGH! HEY! YOU BLOODY PLONKER!" He swatted Buzzer upside the head.

"OW!" Ripper exclaimed, holding his head. "You'll mess up me Mohawk, mate!"

"Why you bloody featherhead!" Torch snapped, slapping Buzzer in the face.

"Hey!" Buzzer exclaimed.

"Whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop! Nyuk nyuk nyuk!" Ripper laughed.

"Shut up!" Torch snapped, bonking Ripper on the head. The three Dreadnoks noticed several shadows falling on them, and they grew bigger. They looked up. "Oh…"

"My…" Ripper continued.

"God!" Buzzer finished. The three Dreadnoks screamed as several baboons fell out of the sky and started mauling them. A scared employee peeked up from behind the counter.

"This is weird." The employee mumbled. "And now for something completely different."

**Nick's Arcade**

"I wonder what kind of thugs that Whip guy would send to try and shut down." Alison Blaire wondered. The young blonde Farrah-haired lightengale codenamed Dazzler puzzled as she took a sip of her soda. She was sitting at a table at Nick's Arcade, the West Coast Misfits' favorite hangout. With her were her teammates Terrell "Velocity" Mason and Kyle "Thunderbolt" Wildfire. Both of the boys were enjoying pizza.

"If they turn out to be mutants, then we're in trouble." Terrell mumbled as he bit into a slice of pizza.

"Not to mention the Whip himself, jabroni." Kyle added. "The Thunderbolt gets the feeling that they don't give the Whip his name just for his quick wit." He then bit into a slice of pizza.

"No kidding." Ali agreed.

"Hey, pass the breadsticks." Kyle mumbled.

"Do you think the Whip will send _superpowered_ thugs after us?" Terrell scrunched his face at Alison. "I mean, wouldn't that be a little…much? That's like sending a tank to deal with a mouse." Ali shrugged.

"He's rich. He can pull off whatever he wants." Ali shrugged. "If Donald Trump hired some superpowered thugs, no one would complain."

"We'd know if Trump hired people." Kyle laughed. "They'd all be wearing gold, heh heh." Ali and Terrell blinked. The Bostonian electrokinetic rolled his eyes. "Don't you jabronies know _anything?_ Donald Trump's a real-life Goldfinger. Real big fan of the stuff." Meanwhile, the three members of the West Coast Misfits were being watched from the other side of the bar. One of them was a muscular gray-skinned kid who looked like a half-man, half-rhinoceros. His black hair was in dreadlocks that reached down to his chin. He was dressed in a blue sleeveless leather jacket with a white sleeveless t-shirt underneath, blue leather pants, a blue bandanna, and black wristbands.

"Hey, man." He lightly whapped his friend's arm, getting his attention. The rhino-kid's voice contained a Jamaican lit. "Check it out. Recognize them?" The rhino-boy's friend looked at the three West Coast Misfits. His hair was short and blond, and he was dressed in a green t-shirt with dark green cargo slacks, a thin gold chain, and studded wristbands.

"I'll say." The blond boy snickered to the rhino-boy. "Those're the West Coast Misfits. Three of them, anyway." The rhino-boy chuckled. "Which one of them is the Thunderbolt, Rhinox?"

"The short one with the big mouth, Ringer. He's like a kid version of you." Rhinox teased.

"Hey!" Ringer snapped. "Anyway, the blonde's a _hottie_" The blond Metallix keyboardist whistled impressively, looking the singer up and down. "Man, I'd like to do a duet with her, man." Rhinox chuckled.

"I may not agree with you much, Ringer…but you're right. She's a beaut." Rhinox chuckled. "I also heard she was taken."

"Yeah. By me when she looks at me." Ringer quipped. Rhinox looked at the three young mutants.

"Man, Mercury was dead on." Rhinox noted. "We have to worry about those West Coast Misfits. But I thought they were a big team. Where is the rest of them?"

"Probably doing their own thing." Ringer shrugged. "They're a big group, and this is a big city, after all."

"We've gotta tell Mercury." Rhinox told Ringer.

"Oh yeah." Ringer smirked. "He'll love to hear that." A ringing was heard from the blond mutant's pocket. Ringer pulled out a cell phone from his pocket. He flipped it open. "Yo."

"It's Mercury." The voice on the other end reported. "Have you found them?"

"Yup." Ringer smirked. "We found 'em. You should check out the blonde. She's a hyper-hottie."

"I wouldn't mind knocking the taste out of the big mouth of the Thunderbolt myself." Rhinox smirked. "I'd love to be the one who finally shuts him up."

**Bayville**

"Grrr…" Senator Kelly mumbled as he walked out of his house, carrying a hose. His house was covered in toilet paper. "Stupid mutants, no respect for property…" He noticed a shadow covering him, and it was growing bigger. The senator looked up and his jaw dropped. "Oh…my…God!" An angry bear landed on him and started mauling him. "AHHHH! HELP ME! SAVE ME!"

Well, well, well! Looks like Metallix have found their targets? What insanity will happen next? Can our heroes save the day? Can Kelly get rid of the bear? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	5. Quiet Moment!

**Basketball Blunders**

**Disclaimer: "To which the old Mac could say only one thing: 'Bite me'." – "Weird" Al Yankovic**

Chapter 5: Quiet Moment

**Bayville**

"_Hmmm hmmm hmmmmm…_" Duncan Matthews hummed happily as he walked down the street. He passed by the Bayville Arena. He noticed the marquee flashing in bright lights. "Hey…a hockey game in town." The blond jock smiled. "Cool. I love a good hockey game. The thrill of victory…the plays…and of course…" His smile grew wider. "The fights." Duncan bought a ticket and went inside. He sat down in the front row behind the goal. The crowd cheered as two hockey players started slugging it out in front of him, to the delight of the crowd. "Alright! Yeah! Use your left, use your left!" One player aimed a punch, but the other player ducked, and the first player ended up nailing Duncan in the mouth. "OW!" Duncan screamed, covering his bloody mouth. Meanwhile, a third player fired a slapstick shot at the goal. The puck flew past the goalie for the point. However, the puck was hit so hard and fast, it went through the goal net and whacked Duncan right between the eyes.

**The Malibu youth center**

"Man…I feel bad for Don." Alison Blaire, the blonde Farrah-haired mutant lightengale and singer codenamed Dazzler, sighed as she moved a checker forward. She and three fellow members of the West Coast Misfits were sitting in the basketball court's stands, watching the kids and Don play, and having their own fun. Ali was playing checkers with her friend Terrell Mason, the Compton-born aerokinetic and speedster codenamed Velocity. With them was Kyle Wildfire, the young Boston-born electrokinetic mutant codenamed Thunderbolt, was sitting on a stand above them, playing a portable video game.

"Come on…come on…" Kyle scowled, moving his game about as if it would help him win. "Come here, you stupid lousy jabroni bugs!" A beeping was heard. The Bostonian whooped. "Alright! That's it! Yeah! That's right! You think you bugs can touch me? Huh? Well, come on! Just bring it! The Thunderbolt will layeth the royal smacketh down on all of you! Yeah!" What sounded like victory music was heard from the game! "Yeah! Yeah! WHOOOO!" Kyle whooped in victory. "The Thunderbolt is the champion! All hail the mighty Thunderbolt!" Terrell watched Kyle celebrate, and the corn-rowed African-American teenager shook his head.

"Man, that boy needs to seriously cut back on the sugar." Terrell sighed, shaking his head. "It bad enough that guy gets hyperactive when he carries too many watts."

"Not his fault." Ali shook her head. "It's a side effect of Kyle's powers. His body is constantly charging. When he gets overcharged, his body tries to get rid of the excess energy. If Kyle doesn't discharge it as lightening, he gets hyperactive." Terrell blinked.

"Wow, girl. Since when did you become a biology expert?" Ali shrugged at Terrell's question.

"I didn't. And I'm not. I heard Stretcher say that once." The lightengale explained. She looked at the board. "Are you going to move, Terrell?"

"Yeah, yeah. Calm down." Terrell chuckled.

"And here I was, thinking that speedsters were impatient." Ali laughed as Terrell moved a checker. Ali looked down at the board, and her jaw dropped. "Holy…"

"Ha!" Terrell laughed. "King me!" He snickered at Ali. "Man, girl! You left a hole your defense that was wide open! I'm surprised."

"Of all the times to suddenly have a 'dumb blonde' moment." Ali groaned. Kyle overheard this and snickered.

"Could be worse, Blaire. You could've developed an urge to sing a rendition of 'Happy Birthday' to the President." The Bostonian snickered. Ali rolled her eyes.

"Kyle, I don't think that the current President has the appropriate reputation." Ali rolled her eyes.

"Yeah." Terrell added with a laugh. "I doubt that the current President would know what to do with a woman. He's still trying to figure out how the doorknob works."

"Yeah." Kyle agreed. "Poor man tried to leave that thing with the Chinese, but he ended up looking like an idiot. Must be genetic for members of the Bush family to embarrass themselves in Asian countries. Think about it. His old man puked on a dignitary in Japan." Kyle laughed. Ali rolled her eyes.

"Guys, I think you're being a little too hard. Nobody is that incompetent in reality."

"Ali, you obviously have conveniently forgotten about our friends in the Dreadnok organization." Kyle reminded. Ali sighed.

"Okay, I admit it. There _are_ people who are _that_ incompetent." Ali admitted, raising her hands. "But I highly doubt anybody could elect someone as incompetent as a Dreadnok to the highest office in the country."

"Hey, kids." Don walked up to the stands. "What are you talking about?"

"Whether it's cool to make stupid jokes in regard to the current President or not." Kyle quipped.

"Ha ha ha." Terrell groaned.

"What?" Kyle blinked.

"Where are the Joes?" Don asked when noticed the two Joes, the red-haired pyromaniacal demolitions expert called Firestorm, and the blond machine gunner known as Rock 'n' Roll, were not with the teenage mutants.

"They're back out at the base." Kyle shrugged, pointing behind him with his thumb.

"Yeah." Ali remembered. "They went out to get some more information on the Whip."

"Maybe they'll find something that can be used against him." Terrell suggested. "It's the classic story."

"Oh yeah, every comic book has used it: Evil businessman is revealed to have history of screwing over rivals with underhanded tactics." Kyle agreed. "Heh. In fact, the Thunderbolt can name at least ten comic books that have used that storyline in some form."

**The Whip's penthouse suite, Malibu**

"Whoo-wee!" Rock 'n' Roll whistled, impressed. He and Firestorm used a window washer's platform to bring themselves to the penthouse's windows. They happened to be dressed as window washers. The two Joes looked into the penthouse. It was a beautiful expansive penthouse, with white carpets and matching furniture, with golden trim. "Look at all that stuff! Man, you'd have to be _mega-_rich to be able to stay in _that_ place for just one night!"

"Yeah…" Firestorm grinned widely. "Personally, I'd love to set fire to that carpet." Rock 'n' Roll blinked at Firestorm in an 'You-are-a-very-crazy-man' way, before shaking his head and getting back to the task at hand.

"Right…" Rock 'n' Roll sighed. "Anyway, is the distraction doing his job?" Firestorm laughed.

"Don't worry about it, Rock 'n' Roll." The redhead laughed. "BR will keep the ol' Whipster distracted.

**The hotel's restaurant**

"What is that thing?" An old woman screeched in outrage. The restaurant was in chaos. A certain Joe monkey was running around, causing havoc by leaping on tables and throwing around food, scaring guests, cracking faces, and generally acting insane.

"It's disgusting!"

"Get it off my table!"

"Augh! It set fire to my tie!"

"Hey, that was my spaghetti!"

"MY WHIP!" The Whip screamed as he ran around the restaurant, chasing after BR. The little Macaque monkey, dressed in his green headband and orange jacket with lots of pockets, scooted around the restaurant, the Whip's namesake weapon hanging around his neck. "COME BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE-!" The white-clad businessman leapt onto a table after BR, breaking it, spilling food and rink everywhere, and shocking the guests. "ARGH!"

**The penthouse**

"I'm sure he is." Rock 'n' Roll chuckled. "Anyway, let's go. We got a job to do."

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes are mounting a plan! What insanity will happen next? Where are Metallix? Can BR keep the Whip distracted? What will the Joes find? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	6. Attack of Metallix!

**Basketball Blunders**

**Disclaimer: "Come off it, Greenie! This bunch of heroes is real good at sitting around collecting their underoos royalties!" - Hawkeye, Avengers #224**

Chapter 6: Attack of Metallix!

**The penthouse**

"Okay, the first thing we should do is check for security." Rock 'n' Roll, a blonde Joe machine gunner, told the Joe who was standing with him. They were standing on a window washer's platform outside the penthouse that the businessman and mall magnate Wally "The Whip" Farriss. Disguised as window washers, the two soldiers were hoping to infiltrate the room and find something they could use to get him arrested.

"Uhm, Rock 'n' Roll…" Firestorm, the red-haired Joe demolitions expert, started to object. "The man don't own this hotel. It's not his private penthouse. I doubt there's much security. If he's got anything that the really needs to be kept safe, he'd have the hotel put them in those special safety deposit boxes they have downstairs."

"Wow, Firestorm. I'm impressed." Rock 'n' Roll nodded his head in a complimentary manner. "You actually scoped out this place earlier?"

"Nah." Firestorm shrugged. "I saw _Total Recall_ on the science fiction channel last night. The hotel in the movie had safety deposit boxes."

"Ay carumba…" Rock 'n' Roll groaned, rubbing the bridge of his nose with two fingers in annoyance. He then let out a sigh. "We might as well go inside a take a look at what the Whip has in his apartment. I doubt BR can keep him distracted forever." Rock 'n' Roll was referring to Blast Radius, Firestorm's pet Macaque monkey. Very smart, the little monkey could communicate with sign language, and it was very good at laying explosives. In fact, the monkey loved explosions and fire as much as his partner did.

"I dunno." Firestorm shrugged. "BR can keep a distraction going for a rather long time." As if fate was proving his point, an explosion was heard downstairs, accompanied by Oklahoman-accented cursing, screaming, and monkey screeches. "See what I mean?"

"Oh, my God…" Rock 'n' Roll groaned. "Let's just go in, find stuff, and then get out of here before the monkey ends up _completely_ trashing the hotel."

**The youth center**

"Alright!" Terrell Mason whooped as he managed to slip through the defense of a couple little kids, and nail a slam dunk. "Oh yeah! Whoo!" He clapped his hands and started to dance. "Oh yeah! The New Magic is here!"

"Yo, jabroni!" Kyle smirked. "The Thunderbolt wants to know, shouldn't you have permission from the old Magic before you can call yourself that?"

"_Must_ you have a smart-alec retort to everything, Thunderbolt?" Terrell mock snorted, throwing Kyle the basketball, which the Boston native easily caught.

"It's the Thunderbolt's forte, jabroni!" Kyle laughed. "Don't knock it unless you try it."

"Here comes the testosterone again." Ali chuckled, playing Kyle's video game. "OH YEAH! DIE, SPACE INVADERS!"

"Look who's talking?" Kyle chuckled. A little kid, around 11, poked Terrell's hip.

"What's up?" Terrell asked the kid.

"How can I be super-fast, like you?" The kid inquired.

"Get doused by chemicals that were struck by lightning, kid. Works every time." Kyle quipped.

"Oh, stop Kyle. That's just silly." Ali shook her head. "Besides, if that happened for real, you'd end up either in the hospital, or dead."

"Hey, it works in the comics." Kyle shrugged.

"I'm sure you'd know, man." Terrell teased.

"It's okay to be tough and still read comic books." Kyle shook his head. "Just look at Rob Van Dam." A sound like a bomb dropping was heard. "What in the-?"

_**KABLAM!**_

"LOOK OUT!" Ali screamed as the ceiling broke wide open thanks to somebody smashing through it, and rubble fell on the ground.

"Get into the locker rooms and stay there!" Terrell ordered the fleeing kids, who immediately complied. A figure rose to its feet in the center of the crater it made when it slammed through the ceiling into the floor. It was the powerhouse rhino-like mutant codenamed Rhinox.

"Who…?" A confused Ali blinked.

"Call me Rhinox." Rhinox smirked.

"Rhinox? I know you!" Kyle exclaimed, pointing at the Jamaican mutant. "The Thunderbolt's brother fought you and the rest of you clowns in Chicago!" **(1)**

"Huh?" Terrell blinked. Rhinox looked at the young Boston-born electrokinetic.

"Brother?"

"Yeah." Kyle smirked, crossing his arms. "The Thunderbolt's older brother. The Red Dragon." Rhinox's eyes widened.

"Your brother took on Diablo himself."

"Diablo?" Ali blinked. "Isn't that Spanish for 'Devil'?"

"It is." Kyle smirked at the lightengale. "And it's appropriate for that clown. You see, Rhino-boy here is a member of Metallix, a mutant street gang and rock band. Their leader is called Diablo. He's some red-skinned devil-like freak with powers like that Hulk monkey."

"Oh, yeah!" Ali realized. "I heard about that from Rahne, who heard it from Kitty."

"You have got to be kidding me." Terrell groaned.

"Girls." Kyle shook his head. "Always gossiping."

"Hey, excuse me?" Rhinox waved to get the three West Coast Misfits' attention. "Hello? I'm here to kick your butts, man!"

"Yeah, we know." Kyle shrugged. "We were just thinking of a way to tick you off!" As quick as the lightning he could create and control, Kyle's fists sparked and crackled with the electrical power the young Bostonian's body constantly generated. With a yell, he fired a blast of thunder at Rhinox, which formed a construct of a ram's head. The construct slammed into Rhinox's gut, sending the powerhouse mutant through a wall.

"Aw, Don is going to be _ticked_…" Alison winced.

"He started it." Kyle shrugged. "If anyone asks, the Thunderbolt'll just tell him Rhino-boy there never heard of doors."

"Oh…" Rhinox moaned from outside. "Power just has to run in the family, huh?"

"Heh." Kyle smirked. "What an easy…" With a whistle, several rings made of energy flew through the ceiling hole, hitting the ground nearby the West Coast Misfit members, with explosive results.

_**KABLAM! KABLAM! KABLAM!**_

"Yi!" Ali screamed as the explosion knocked her to the ground. However, she was able to recover quickly, thanks to her training. Her body converted the sound of the explosion into light, as evidenced by her body flashing.

"Whoa!" Terrell zipped out of the way before he could be harmed. Kyle protected himself with an electrical construct of a shield. "What was that?"

"The Thunderbolt wanted to crack a wedding joke, but he couldn't think of one." Kyle joked. The Metallix member known as Ringer leapt down to battle.

"Helloooooooo, Malibu!" He crowed, throwing more explosive rings.

"Whoa!" Terrell called upon his powers to create winds to deflect the rings. Kyle knocked a few away with an electrical construct of a baseball bat.

"Heh. They should've signed me to the Red Sox, jabroni! The Thunderbolt would've gotten them another pennant!" While they were distracted…

"Hey!" Ali exclaimed. Ringer caught her with a chain made of solid energy rings, and used them to drag her towards him. He then held her.

"Hey, baby." He smirked. "Come to Ringer." He then leaned forward to kiss the scowling blonde.

"Creep!" Ali snapped, kneeing Ringer in the groin. She freed herself from Ringer while the mutant howled in pain.

"God!" He wheezed. "Women don't like being complimented these days." Rhinox ran inside.

"Ringer!" He exclaimed. He growled and ripped a bench out of the stands.

**The Whip's penthouse**

"Darn it!" Rock 'n' Roll groused, kicking the carpeted ground. He and Firestorm stood in the middle of the penthouse. "We searched from pillar to post, and we couldn't find anything!"

"Maybe we should've found an office or something." Firestorm suggested with a shrug.

"I doubt the man has an office in this town." Rock 'n' Roll groaned. The two Joes didn't notice a glob of what appeared to be liquid metal ooze out of a vase on the desk. The liquid metal blob slithered toward the two Joes, and then reformed into the silver-haired Mercury. He coughed, causing the two Joes to turn.

"Excuse me, gentlemen." Mercury crossed his arms and smirked. "Did you two have business here?"

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes are in trouble! What insanity will happen next? Can the two Joes subdue Mercury? Can the West Coast Misfits beat Rhinox and Winger? Will the Whip do anything? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!

**(1) – See "Rockin' In The Southside!"**


	7. Fights!

**Basketball Blunders**

**Disclaimer: "Me fail English? That's unpossible." – Ralph Wiggum, the Simpsons**

Chapter 7: Fights!

**The youth center in Malibu**

"RAAAAAAAR!" Rhinox roared. The powerhouse Jamaican mutant ripped a bench out of the stands and pitched it at three members of the heroic mutant team known as the West Coast Misfits: The blonde singing lightengale called Dazzler, the African-American speedster/aerokinetic called Velocity, and the loudmouthed Bostonian electrokinetic called Thunderbolt.

"Whoa! Look out!" Ali exclaimed. The three young mutants jumped out of the way of the bench, which ended up hitting the ground and shattering. They ended up tumbling to the ground. Kyle landed awkwardly, causing him to tumble into the stands. "Kyle!"

"Man, that was a tumble." Kyle grumbled as he held his head. Rhinox got into a position like a football player and charged at Kyle like a football player. "Aw, going for the Gore, huh?" The Bostonian managed to put a smirk on. "Okay…" At the last second, just before Rhinox could slam into Kyle, the human battery created a slide out of electricity, and Thunderbolt easily slipped down it. Rhinox slammed into the stands. "And the gore gets countered! GORE got countered! GORE got countered! GORE got countered!"

"Somebody get this ring off me!" Ali struggled to get one of Ringer's energy rings off from being wrapped around her.

"Hang on, girl!" Terrell zipped up to her and tugged at the ring.

"Hang on, hang on! There are tools for this kind of thing." Kyle created an electrical construct of a crowbar, and used it to pry at the ring. He created a saw out of electricity and held it out to Terrell. "Here!"

"Uh…" Terrell blinked.

"Take it, jabroni!" Kyle exclaimed, holding out the saw.

"Uh…is it safe? It's not going to fry me or anything…" Terrell wondered.

"Just take the saw, jabroni!" Kyle snapped. "It'll be fine! I'm okay!"

"Yeah, but…" Terrell countered. "You're _immune_ to electrical shock."

"It's a solid construct made of electricity. You'll feel a tingle, but it won't shock you unless **_I_** want it to." Kyle grunted.

"Okay…" Terrell nervously took the saw. "Huh…you were right, Kyle. There's only a tingle."

"Just saw already!" Kyle snapped, prying at the ring.

"Hey, ow! Careful!" Ali exclaimed. "Eek!" Several rings exploded near them.

"Geez!" Ringer scowled. "Try to compliment a woman, and they take it as a something disturbing!" The blond mutant grinned as he created several rings, and formed them into a long chain. "Heh heh…" He started twirling it over his head. "Heh heh. I'm gonna whip ya! Whip ya good!" He started humming.

"Who does this guy think he is? Some kind of legendary musician?" Kyle grumbled, continuing to pry at Ali's ring.

"The ring's digging into my elbow! Ow!" Ali exclaimed. She screamed at Ringer. "Let me out of this thing, you jerk!" Ringer chuckled.

"I think it looks good on you, baby! I thought chicks dug rings!" Ringer laughed as he cracked his energy ring whip.

"Not when the ring wears the person!" Ali snapped as she leapt out of the way of the whip.

"Hey, watch it!" Terrell snapped.

"RAHHHHH!" Rhinox roared as he recovered from the failed Gore attempt. He used his human rocket power to rocket into the air and slam into the ground, knocking the three mutants down. The fall did wonders for the Farrah-haired Dazzler.

"Hey, I got this ring off!" Ali grinned to herself. "Go me!"

"Awwwww!" Ringer pouted. "I thought you liked my little gift!" Ali scowled at Ringer as Kyle and Terrell went to engage Rhinox.

"Here, take it back!" Ali growled as she pitched the ring back at the blond mutant. Just before it could hit his face, the ring stopped, and the blond mutant smirked.

"Uh uh uh, girl…" Ringer shook his finger at her in a tutting manner. "I can control my energy rings, so you can't hurt me with them." He started to laugh crazily. Ali smirked in response.

"Too bad you can't control _this_, laughing boy." Alison smirked. "You see, I'm a mutant, too. My body absorbed the noise of all those explosions and the fight. I can take that noise and convert it to light."

"So?" Ringer sneered. "I've seen you on stage. You can create fancy light effects. Big deal!" He scoffed. "What're gonna do? Strobe me to death?"

"Nope." Ali grinned. "I can use my light powers to create…_lasers!_" Ali fired a yellow energy beam from her hand. The beam sliced Ringer's ring chain in half.

"Hoo boy…" Ringer winced. "Not the face…"

**The Whip's penthouse suite**

"Yeow!" Firestorm, the red-haired demolitions expert of the Malibu Joe team, exclaimed as he leapt out of the way of a liquid metal tentacle, which ended up smashing through a desk.

"Whoa!" Rock 'n' Roll, the blond-haired-and-bearded machine gunner of the Malibu Joe team, ducked a mace made of liquid metal, which smashed into a wall.

"Come now, gentlemen…" Mercury chuckled. "Did you _really_ believe you can defeat me unarmed?" Rock 'n' Roll threw a stapler like a shuriken at the mutant's head. However, Mercury simply turned the rest of his body into a liquid state, allowing the stapler to pass right through him. "Charming." He answered dryly. "You know, may I admit something? I actually respect you Joes. I have heard of your ability to conquer great odds. I will regret beating you senseless."

"Lucky us." Rock 'n' Roll groused as he hid behind a desk. Firestorm tried to sneak behind the teenage silver-haired mutant and clobber him with a chair leg. However, Mercury wasn't the type to be caught easily. He used his powers to stretch his neck and hit Firestorm right in the nose with the top of his head.

"AGH!" Firestorm grabbed his nose.

"Commendable effort, my friend." Mercury complimented. The next thing that the two Joes know, they were flying through the wall. "You two humans are hardier than I had imagined."

"Army training, sir." Rock 'n' Roll mumbled in funny voice in a daze.

"Ugh…" Firestorm scowled as he got to his feet. Rock 'n' Roll soon followed. Mercury lashed out again with a pair of liquid metal piledrivers. The two Joes rolled out of the way. Out of the corner of his eye, Firestorm saw a fire extinguisher. "Rock!" He shot a quick glance to the extinguisher, and then a nod. Rock 'n' Roll gave the red-haired demolitions expert a quick nod back. Rock 'n' Roll quickly looked around and noticed a piece of the wall next to him. He quickly grabbed the piece.

"Hey, you psychotic little T-1000 wannabe! Come and get me, you psychotic little twerp!" Rock 'n' Roll called out as he charged the teenage mutant, the piece of wall held over his head in preparation for a blow. Mercury transformed into his liquid metal form, and Firestorm took it as his signal. He grabbed the fire extinguisher, and quickly got it ready to fire. Mercury grabbed Rock 'n' Roll and threw him into a couch. Still in his liquid state, Mercury turned around and ended up eating foam from the fire extinguisher.

"Eat foam, you walking smelt reject!" Firestorm roared.

"ARRRRRGH!" Mercury screamed as the cold foam hit his liquid body. It caused him to freeze. In a matter of seconds, he became a frozen statue. Firestorm breathed heavily as he ran to check on Rock 'n' Roll. "You alright?"

"Yeah…" Rock 'n' Roll moaned. "Just let me find my ribs."

**Back at the youth center**

The fight between Rhinox and the combined force of Dazzler, Thunderbolt, and Velocity had boiled down to a stalemate. Dazzler had easily taken out Ringer, who had been left in the stands, knocked silly. The Jamaican rhino-like mutant was too powerful, Velocity and Dazzler (Who was using her roller skates) were too quick, and Kyle was too experienced a fighter.

"There has got to be a way to crush you, man!" Rhinox growled as he threw a punch at air in the wake of Velocity, another missed blow.

"This guy's got the hide of a rhino!" Kyle quipped as he threw electric bursts. "There has got to be a way to break this stalemate!"

"No kidding!" Ali agreed as she zipped by Rhinox, firing a series of light bursts. "I can't create a light blast strong enough to hurt him!"

"Ohhh…" Ringer moaned as he woke up, holding his head. He noticed a basketball roll towards him from a rack that was wrecked in the fight. He then let out a weak grin as an idea formed in his head.

Well, well, well! Looks like Ringer has an idea! What is his insane idea? What madness will happen next? How did Firestorm know that would work? Where's the Whip? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	8. Ringer's Offer

**Basketball Blunders!**

**Disclaimer: "My neck is sore from agreeing so much."**

Chapter 8: Ringer's Offer

**The hotel's dining area**

"Ooh ooh ooh ooh AHH AHH AHH!" Blast Radius screamed. The semi-sane Macaque partner of the Malibu Joes' demolitions expert, the quasi-sane Firestorm, was causing a panic in the dining area of the hotel. He was leaping around, holding a bunch of grapes.

"Come here, you little-!" The Whip screamed angrily as he leapt at the monkey. "AGH!" BR started throwing grapes at him. "Hey! That hit my eye!" The Whip covered his face. "Oh God! You had better pray that my eye is alright, you little flea circus! Augh!"

"This has got to be the craziest thing I have ever seen in my life." One guest whispered to another. The second guest narrowed his eyes.

"Boy, you haven't been in this town long, have you? I once saw Dennis Rodman on a drunken bender. Now _that_ was crazy." The second guest countered. BR ran up to the Whip and grabbed the white namesake that was looped around his belt. "Hey! That's mine!" BR threw a banana, hitting the back of his head. "Hey!" BR looked at the whip and gave it a crack, causing the rest of the guests in the hotel, who had come down to eat, but ended up becoming an audience to the insanity, winced.

"Oh, that's not right…"

"That had to hurt, man."

"Ugh…"

"Ay-yi-yi!"

"Hi-o, that's just not cool!"

"YEOW!" The Whip screamed with a jump as Blast Radius cracked the whip, hitting him in the rear end. He spun around, glaring at the snickering monkey. "Why you little-!" BR cracked the whip again, hitting the Whip right in the nose. "OW!" He covered his nose. "That really hurt!" BR only jumped up and down and did the monkey equivalent of a happy laugh, clapping his little hands.

"Man, I feel sorry for the owner." One guest whispered to another.

"How do you know that monkey has an owner?" The other guest scratched her head in confusion. "It might just be a wild monkey."

"How many wild monkeys wear orange vests full of pockets and green headbands?" The first guest retorted.

"I recognize that monkey…" Another guest scratched his stubble-covered chin in thought. "Yeah…it belongs to this nutty red-head I know. I own a fireworks store, and he always comes there with that monkey on his shoulder."

"He must drive you crazy." The first guest told the stubble-faced guest sympathetically.

"Are you kidding me?" The stubble-faced guest grinned. "Those guys are my best customers! They're putting my kids through college! They love stuff that blows up about as much as I do." He heard a whistle. The guests turned and saw Firestorm and Rock 'n' Roll at the door.

"Come on, BR!" Firestorm called with a wave. "We're getting out of here!"

_I just hope the kids are alright…_ Rock 'n' Roll mentally mumbled to himself with some worry. BR grabbed a bowl of dressing and dumped it all over the Whip, dropping his whip, and bashing the Whip upside the head with the bowl. The monkey then ran across the room and jumped on Firestorm's shoulder.

"To the Firerunner!" Firestorm whooped, referring to the quasi-sane Joe's customized orange Jeep with the red-and-yellow flames, built in rocket launchers and flamethrowers, and jet engines. The two Joes made their escape. "I'll drive!"

"Heck no!" Rock 'n' Roll exclaimed. "I'd rather let the monkey drive! He's more sane!"

"Okay then! BR can drive!"

"I was kidding, you flame-brain!"

**The youth center**

"AUGH!" The Jamaican rhino-like mutant called Rhinox screamed as he got blasted into the stands by one of Dazzler's laser beams, helped by a tornado blast from Velocity, the African-American speedster and aerokinetic.

"Yeah!" Dazzler, the blonde Farrah-haired dance singer, whooped happily. "Whoa!" She ducked a flying basketball. "What was that?"

"Hee hee hee…" Ringer giggled, sitting on top of one of the stands. The blond mutant was twirling a basketball with one finger.

"I could do that." Terrell pointed out the action.

"So could the Thunderbolt. You taught him that." Kyle remembered.

"Hey West Coast Losers!" Ringer called. "You wanna settle this another way?"

"Yeah." Kyle crossed his arms and smirked.

"Spam…" Rhinox mumbled from the wrecked stand.

"Why don't you come down and let the Thunderbolt slap ya, and then it'll be settled?" Kyle Wildfire, the electricity-controlling mutant called Thunderbolt offered, ignoring Rhinox.

"Lovely spam, wonderful spam…" Rhinox mumbled weakly. Ali blinked at the crumpled-up stands.

"Man, I must've blasted a few brain cells out of place." The Farrah-haired blonde singer blinked. "You okay?"

"…What do you mean, yuch? I don't like spam, mon…" The Jamaican rhino-like mutant mumbled weakly in response. Terrell, Kyle, and Ringer didn't notice.

"No, you little loudmouthed Celtic-worshipping moron." Ringer chuckled.

"You got a problem with the Celtics, jabroni?" Kyle crossed his arms.

"You shouldn't be surprised, Kyle." Terrell rolled his eyes. "He's from Chicago. They're Bulls freaks over there."

"Da Bulls…" Rhinox mumbled weakly.

"Oh yeah…" Kyle nodded, remembering that. The young mutant's face then formed a smirk. "…Man, the Thunderbolt has heard those horn-heads have started to really suck since Jordan and Pippen retired." Kyle laughed at his own joke. Terrell shared a chuckle. Ringer scowled.

"It's not their fault, you Clipper-loving jerks!" Ringer snapped.

"The Clippers?" Terrell's jaw dropped. "Who likes the _Clippers?_ Everybody played in the Clippers! _I_ played in the Clippers! And despite _my_ talent, the team still sucked!"

"I'm from Boston, jabroni." Kyle scowled. "The Thunderbolt's Celtics would _eat_ the Clippers for breakfast!"

"Oh, please!" Ringer scoffed. "The Celts haven't been any good since Bird and McHale left!" Kyle snarled. **(1)**

"Say that again, punk!" Kyle snapped, fists sparking with electricity. "Say that again!" Kyle cursed and lunged at the energy ring-making mutant, but Terrell was able to hold him back. "Come here and say that to the Thunderbolt's face, ya punk! You wanna run your mouth about the Celts, you jabroni!"

"Easy, Kyle! Easy!" Terrell exclaimed.

"Heh." Ringer smirked. "Anyway, I was thinking…"

"I'm not tetchy…" Rhinox mumbled weakly, sitting up. Ringer's face formed a deadpan look at his teammate.

"Riiiiiiiiiight…" Ringer drawled. "Anyway…I was thinking…Let's settle this with a good-old-fashioned basketball game. Two-on-two. What do you say?"

"Heh." Terrell smirked. "You're on, little man. Evidently, you got no idea who you're messing with."

"Yeah, and the Thunderbolt's no slouch, either!" Kyle added.

"Alright!" Ringer grinned. He then shot a lecherous look at Ali. "And I'm sure you will be my personal cheerleader?" Ali's face scrunched in disgust.

"No way, loser."

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes just got a crazy offer! What madness will happen next? Who will win the game? Will Ringer get slapped? Who will drive the Firerunner? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!

**(1) – My 4th grade teacher was a huge Celtics fan. I still remember the posters she had of Larry Bird and Kevin McHale.**


	9. Big Game!

**Basketball Blunders**

**Disclaimer: "Oh good! Maybe they'll stop calling me that then!" – Pip, South Park**

Chapter 9: Big Game!

**Downtown Malibu**

In front of a donut shop, a cop sat behind the driver's seat of his squad car.

"Zzzzzzzz…" The cop snored. "Mm…bacon…zzzzzzz…"

"This is dispatch calling all units…" The squad car's radio crackled, waking up the cop.

"Captain Fantastic!" The cop mumbled as he woke up. He quickly straightened his hat.

"We got that crazy man Burns driving again." The dispatch sighed.

"Aw, man…" The cop moaned. "Who keeps that _idiot_ get behind the wheel of a car?" He heard screaming. He looked out his window, and he saw the Firerunner race by.

"_BWAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!_" The cackling voice of Firestorm could be heard. Rock 'n' Roll appeared to be tied up to the roof.

"_FIRESTOOOOOOOOOOOOOORM!_" He screamed as the Firerunner zoomed by. The cop's jaw dropped.

"Oh…my…God!" The cop gawked. "Man, there are some real psychos in this town! I should've stayed in Cleveland! At least there, all I had to deal with was loudmouthed rock musicians!" He started his car and activated the sirens.

**The Malibu Youth Center**

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Don asked Alison Blaire. The two were sitting on the stands.

"Don't worry." Ali reassured. "Terrell and Kyle know what they were doing…I hope." The aerokinetic speedster and the electrical generator were standing on one side of the court, and on the other, stood the two Metallix members called Rhinox and Ringer. However, Rhinox looked a little wobbly.

"Come on, Rhinox…" Ringer complained, trying to steady his teammate. "Get your head back together, man!"

"No…more…pie, mon." Rhinox mumbled. "Pretty horsey. You're welcome."

"Aw great, he's been knocked stupid." Ringer sighed. "And I was dumb enough to agree to no powers for _this?_"

"I like happy ponies, mon…" The Jamaican powerhouse rhino-like mutant mumbled with a silly smile on his face.

"Ugh…" Ringer groaned.

"Hey, man! Let's do this!" Terrell grinned, spinning a basketball on his finger.

"Yeah, jabroni!" Kyle added. "The Thunderbolt ain't got all day!"

"Let's do this!" Ringer snapped. Don walked up to the center of the court, and the speedster pitched him the ball.

"Okay, kids. You know the rules?"

"Yeah, yeah." Ringer grumbled. "No powers, first to twenty, blah blah blah."

_This is gonna be easy._ Kyle grinned to himself as he noticed Rhinox looking rather puzzled.

"Where am I?" He mumbled.

_Man, Dazzler blasted him stupid!_ Kyle grinned. _The Thunderbolt's respect for the Disco Queen has just gone way up._

"Alright…" Don held the ball in both hands as Terrell and Ringer walked up to the center of the court, facing off. "And go!" He threw the ball up in the air. Terrell and Ringer both leapt up into the air. Ringer managed to swat it towards Rhinox.

"Rhinox, catch it!" He exclaimed. The ball flew towards Rhinox.

"Huh?" It bounced off the rhino-like mutant's head.

"Aw, for the love of-!" Ringer groaned in frustration. The ball landed in the hands of Kyle Wildfire, who managed to get to his side of the court and nail a beautiful slam dunk.

"Two points, jabroni." Kyle smirked.

"Go, Kyle!" Ali whooped.

"Grrr…" Ringer snarled. He glared at a wobbly Rhinox. "You are no help!" He whacked the Jamaican mutant right upside the head, causing him to fall over flat on his face. "Oy…"

"You know what?" Kyle scrunched his face in thought. "Rhino-Boy's been knocked silly. So poor Ringy is on his own. So, I'm taking myself out, man. The Thunderbolt's a lot of things, but he don't believe in fighting dirty…unless they want it to be. So my basket don't count."

"Fair enough." Terrell shrugged.

_Oh, thank God._ Ringer sighed gratefully.

"Still first to twenty, but one-on-one." Terrell told the rules to Ringer. "No powers."

"Fine." Ringer smirked.

**Some time later**

"Huh…Huh…Huh…" Ringer panted tiredly. He was leaning on a stand, panting in exhaustion. "Sixteen to seven…_Sixteen_…to…_seven_." He mumbled to himself. "I can't believe this."

"Having trouble?" Dazzler teased with a grin. Ringer scowled up at her.

"Ah, shaddap." He grunted. "_You_ were the one who knocked Rhinox stupid, and now he can't even _play!_"

"Awwww…whadda madda?" Dazzler teased. "Can't one member of the big bad band Metallix beat a loudmouthed Malibu punk who isn't using his powers?"

"Hey!" Terrell exclaimed with mock indignance.

"Aw, stop…" Ringer moaned. He ran back out into the court. _Man, I hate this! Rhinox isn't much help! He keeps stumbling around, looking like he has no idea what he's doing, which is really distracting to me! Thanks a lot, Dazzler! I managed to get a lead for a little while thanks to that last three-pointer I scored, but one Misfit, even with no help, managed to get way ahead! I'm gonna lose, man! Lose bad!_

"Hey, come on!" Terrell taunted Ringer, dribbling the ball. Ringer growled.

"This ain't fair, man!" Ringer exclaimed. "Rhinox is distracting me out here!"

"_Puff the magic dragon, mon…_" Rhinox mumbled in a sing-song voice, stumbling backwards on one foot for a few steps before falling backwards on his butt. "Hee hee hee…" Ringer sighed.

"I'm screwed."

"Let's do this!" Terrell whooped. He moved towards the basket.

"That's it!" Ringer scowled. He created an energy ring and threw it.

"Hey! No powers!" Ali leapt up in outrage. The ring flew over Terrell, and bound the young hero's ankles together, causing him to trip up and fall flat on his face.

"Agh!"

"Ha!" Ringer whooped.

"Huh?" Rhinox blinked confusedly.

"You sneaky son of a-!" Terrell grumbled as he tried to get the ring off.

"Oh, come on!" Ringer rolled his eyes. "I'm one of the bad guys here! You guys didn't _really_ think I'd play fair, did you?"

"Not really." Kyle shrugged, creating a spear of electricity. He then pitched it, hitting Ringer right in the butt.

"YEOW!" Ringer screamed, jumping up.

"This is crazy." Don sighed. With a grunt, Terrell got up, unhooked his ankles, and took Ringer out with one punch.

**Sometime later**

"This sucks!" Ringer whined as he got carted off by a couple Malibu cops. "Where's Mercury?"

"My head…" Rhinox moaned as he got stuffed into the back of a paddy wagon. Don and the three members of the West Coast Misfits watched the scene.

"Do you think they'll get the Whip?" Don asked.

"Don't worry." Ali shrugged. "Once the cops interrogate Metallix, they'll get the Whip."

"Yeah." Kyle nodded in agreement.

"Look out!" Terrell yelped. Don and the three West Coast Misfits yelped out of the way as the Firerunner, driven by an insanely-cackling Firestorm, and with a tied-up and screaming Rock 'n' Roll on the roof, crash through a nearby wall.

"FIRESTORM! YOU BLOCKHEAD!"

Well, well, well! Looks like our little story finally comes to an end! What insanity will happen down the line? What further adventures will our heroes get themselves into? Find out soon! This is L1701E, saying thanks for reading!


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